Augustana Observer

Augustana Observer

Augustana Observer

Cards Against Humanity saves America

150,000 people, myself included, sent Cards Against Humanity (CAH) $15 so the card-game company can save America. The Chicago-based company promised to surprise their subscribers with six random gifts throughout December. The first gift to save America was the recent announcement to stop the production of Trump’s $20-billion wall.
That is all I needed to hear before I mindlessly entered my low-currency debit card into their hands. This is not the first time that I bought into Cards Against Humanity’s capitalist marketing ideas. Previous years saw the company the company make a stunt where when people donated five dollars they would continue to dig a hole. Joke’s on us, since CAH made $100,573 on 52 continuous hours of digging.
I could also mention the time they sold literal bull-shit for Black Friday and made their games unavailable to purchase for the day. The next year they decided to keep the games on sale for Black Friday, but instead rose the prices of the games.
So the announcement stirred excitement in me for what they had up their sleeve this year. Reality is hard enough to deal with, so owning a piece of land to combat the wall is a small gratification in life. Sure, the government will probably win a case based on eminent domain to bypass CAH’s ploy, but the fact that 150,000 people are the clients in the court battle makes the fifteen dollars worth it already.
The company also shared a video of their trebuchet, a catapult, that they joke will destroy the 30-foot wall. “For legal reasons, we are not threatening to destroy U.S. government property with our glorious medieval siege engine. We cannot possibly overstate that we are not going to crush Trump’s twenty-billion-dollar wall with our totally badass trebuchet. But if we wanted to, we could. But we won’t. But we could,” CAH states in their press release.
The 149,999 people and I will continue to wait by our mailboxes to see what else CAH does to save America from Donald Trump. For those who are unaware of from what CAH is saving America, there is an answer.
“Injustice, lies, racism, the whole enchilada,” CAH states.

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Cards Against Humanity saves America