There are many common notions that long distance relationships (LDR’s) don’t work out – especially in college. Many argue that college should be about exploring yourself and experimenting with others before settling down on a relationship.
Although I do agree that exploring yourself in college by being single works for some, that’s not the case for everyone. Personally for me, I’m content in my LDR, however, if i wasn’t in a relationship I’d also be perfectly content being able to explore the single life as well.
So, below I will list the true reality of LDR’s, debunking the many common negative beliefs associated with them.
1. It’s not as painful as people may think but also more painful at the same time.
While there are days when you’re going to miss seeing your partner in person, for the most part you get used it, and it makes seeing your partner all the more exciting when you do see them.
2. You have more free time with your college friends and more freedom exploring the college life without worrying about needing to allocate time to your partner.
Instead of rejecting friends for plans you already had with your partner, or feeling forced to have your partner tag along with you and your friends, you have the opportunity to separate your “friend life” and your “relationship life.”
In fact, it’s refreshing at the end of the day just being able to relax and talk to your partner without needing to do things together, especially without others around.
3. It’s normal to have crushes once in awhile that aren’t your partner, especially since you see your partner less often – just don’t act on it!
This one I probably can’t stress enough! It’s a common notion that if you have feelings for someone else you never actually loved your partner in the first place. This notion is very toxic and wrong in the majority of cases. Ask anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship and they can confirm crushes do happen sometimes, it’s completely normal, as long as you don’t act on it and keep your distance. Crushes are just irrational infatuations and they’re not worth breaking up with your LDR partner for, trust me don’t learn this the hard way because once you get to know your crush more you’ll get over the irrationality behind the crush and realize all the incompatibilities with them.
4. Having your relationship life and your school life separated makes it easier for you to focus on academics.
Not seeing your partner makes it easier to correlate your school with just academics, which consequently makes it easier to focus on school. Essentially, you’ll associate seeing your partner as a relaxing break away from the stresses of academia and your crazy social life with friends.
5. If you trust your partner you won’t worry if they cheat because of the distance.
Just how some couples trust each other and other couples don’t when it comes to infidelity, the same goes for LDR’s. If you can trust them if you aren’t long distance then you can trust them just the same when you live far apart from each other as well – that doesn’t change.
6. If you break up then that’s also okay, LDR’s aren’t for everyone.
While, being in an LDR has worked for me, it’s not for everyone. Ending an LDR is just the same as ending any other normal relationship; you break up, cry and eventually move on. If anything, it may be easier since you won’t have to constantly see your ex around campus, you’ll be far away from any relationship reminders as possible. It’s a win-win!
