Since it’s almost Halloween, I thought I would talk about a spooky topic. The spookiest, in fact. We’ve all heard of the stories; how the most prolific serial killer in history claims another victim every few months. Nothing can be done to stop these deranged, psychologically scarred, foolish monsters from killing every Applebees we love.
That’s right, I’m talking about those parsimonious millennials. They’re killing brands and industries that we (for some reason) use to define ourselves as American. And that’s bad
Or, at least, that’s what you may have understood if you’ve been reading random articles online recently. As a millennial myself (I think), I had no idea I had been murdering so many industries, especially considering I barely have enough time to murder in between using “the” Facebook and eating avocado toast twelve hours a day. Yes, whippersnappers like myself must just have some sort of psychological scarring, as the Business Insider puts it.
But after looking at the many industries that are having trouble, it’s hard to see that millennials are really killing anything. For one thing, many of these “murders” are not actually murders.
Sure, sometimes there’s an unforunate trend, but it’s not abrupt or catastrophic as “killing”.
Harley Davidson, for example, was in Business Insider for being under attack from millennials. However, after looking at the data the provided, it seemed that they were simply missing expected numbers of sales.
Firstly, that’s not killing the motorcycle industry. It may be upsetting it, but killing is a stretch. Secondly, unless there’s been scientific and controlled research, that isn’t something you can actually pin onto millennials and their interest in motorcycles.
Assuming that millennials are behind these problems, though, some companies are trying to adapt to a generation that has inconveniently not been molded to fit their branding.
The diamond industry, as another example, has noticed millennials have somehow started to spend less on diamonds.
As a response, they have been trying to become more “approachable”, like featuring diamonds in Taylor Swift’s recent music video (where she bathes in a tub full of diamonds). Because whats more aproachable than a bathtub full of hard, pointy, overpriced rocks?
They’ve taken to instagram as well, according to Digiday marketers, saying “Instagram is interesting when you have the world’s most beautiful product…We looked at Instagram as a way to harness that enthusiasm.”
At least they’re trying to save their outdated idea of luxury from being ignored entirely (by the way, in a world where Aston Martins are still driving our roads, diamonds are, at best, the world’s most beautiful rocks).
Most companies, howeverm,  seem to be offering nothing more than complaints to get a customer base back.
So what should we do, to prevent these industries from failing? Absolutely nothing. Let’s not forget that this happens throughout history. Remember that other parts of industry and culture have vanished before, like whale oil, and clowns. New parts of parts of industry will rise again, like renewables, and for some reason clowns again.
Let them go. Except for the avocado toast industry. Do everything possible to protect that industry.