LGBT activist, speaker, writer, and filmmaker Shane Bitney Crone shared his inspiring life story to Augustana students on Wednesday, Nov 30^th in Gavel Room 3.
Born in the small conservative town of Kalispell, Montana, Crone told the audience he knew from the age of eight that he was different. After watching the Tom Hank’s movie Philadelphia, where Hank’s character dies from AIDS, Crone said he saw himself in this gay character. The movie had a negative effect on Crone, and he said it gave him anxiety, depression, and OCD, because he was terrified he would end up dying like Hank’s character. Crone’s fears were componded when he heard about Matthew Shepard, a gay man who was beaten, tied up to a fence, and left for dead, simply because he was a homosexual. Crone said he was bullied in middle and high school for being gay. He contemplated suicide and stopped attending school altogether at one point.
After graduation, he moved out to Los Angeles in hopes of being more accepted there, and he said, “I just wanted to be in a place where I could be true to myself”. This is when a co-worker introduced Crone to Tom. Crone said that meeting Tom made all the horrible experience in his past worth it, because it got Crone to meet Tom. After dating for a while, the two decided to tell their families about their relationship. Crone’s family welcomed the relationship. Even Crone’s religious 90 year-old “Great Grandma Pat” instantly welcomed Tom into the family.
Tom’s family had the opposite reaction. Upon learning of Tom’s sexuality, Crone said, “his parents were furious, and his father decided to pull a shotgun on him, point it at his face, and tell him ‘he should’ve taken his homosexuality to the grave.” His mother wanted Tom to go to therapy to be “cured” of this sickness.
Crone and Tom continued their relationship and traveled the world. They talked about spending the rest of their lives together and, once legal, they would marry.
On May 2011 their dreams were dashed, when Tom had a terrible accident. He fell off a four-story building, and did not survive. The hospital staff told Crone that, because he was not Tom’s family, he did not have a right to see him.
Tom’s family took him back to Indiana for the funeral and banned Crone from attending it. They even threatened him if he tried to come.
On the one year anniversary of Tom’s death, Crone felt that he had to do something. So, he made a 10 minute long YouTube video called “It Could Happen to You.” It went viral over night. He started getting calls to do interviews and he shared his story with more and more people. He went on Oprah and made a documentary on his story called “Bridegroom”; as in, Tom Bridegroom.
Crone said, “I’ve found that the most powerful tool we have is personal stories, and, so, the more that people share their lives with other people the more hearts and mind they can open. So, that’s one thing we all have, we all have a story, so I just encourage people to share their own story, and it’ll make a difference.”
“As cheesy as it sounds, if you can impact one persons’ life in a positive way then… that’s one of the most beautiful things you can do. And yes, it’s great to try and help the masses, but sometimes that’s just too overwhelming to try and figure out how to approach that, so I feel like just start from where you are and surround yourself with people who love and support you, and align with what you believe in.”
Junior Emily Mason said, “What I liked about his presentation is, unlike a lot of presentations where it’s very flashy, very showy, and it’s more about the experience, his presentation was very raw and very honest, and it was more about the story than it was about pizazz.”
“While I was really pleased with the community that ended up showing up to this presentation, I think that having even more events like this on campus is crucial to encourage participation and being able to show up to these events from members of our community that wouldn’t naturally be inclined to attend presentations that are based around these topics. So, I think that normalizing talking about this community and what this community needs and what this community deserves, will help the Augustana community as a whole.”